I have a few friends with multiples. One dilemma that some of them face is the birthday conundrum. I remember sitting with one of my friends before her twins first birthday and talking about the celebration. The first birthday seemed easy to plan. They had a few other one-year olds coming to the party, but most of the guests would be family. The big question in my friend’s mind was: What do we do in the future? She asked things like, “Do we have separate parties? Do people bring two gifts? Do we separate the cakes? What about the Happy Birthday song?” I had no idea how to help her. I have one child and really no concept of what it takes to parent multiples! However, I have had a chance to talk with a few parents of multiples in the past week and learn what has worked for them. Here are a few suggestions that might help ease the stress of throwing a twin birthday party:
1. Joint or Separate Celebrations?
If your twins are old enough, talk to them about what they would prefer. If budget is a concern, let them know the party can be more elaborate if they share a party.
2. Guests: How many?
This can be hard, especially when your twins, triplets, etc. begin to grow older and make separate friends. Take a glance at the intended space for your party and the room in your budget. Set a limit on guests and then split the number of invitees for each child evenly.
3. Gifts: Do we bring a gift for each multiple?
This is a tough question. Perhaps the best solution is to leave the gift-giving to family unless you decide to throw separate parties. You can tell your guests to bring a gift to donate to a child advocacy center or they can bring a “shareable” gift, like a game or an outdoor activity. You can indicate your preference by adding text to your invitation. (Example: “No gifts, please! Just come to the party and have fun!”) Whatever you decide, it's helpful to communicate your thoughts to your guests.
4. Make Cupcakes.
This eliminates the need for two cakes all-together. It is a convenient solution and no one gets stuck cutting the cake! You can have special birthday cupcakes made for the twins, triplets, etc.
5. Sing Happy Birthday to Each Multiple
It’s a nice gesture to consider singing an individual song to each multiple. If you have quintuplets this could create a time issue, but if you have twins – they will enjoy knowing that they are being celebrated as individuals!
The bottom line is that you know your children and what would make them happy on their birthdays. Talking to them ahead of time and creating a plan can help avoid hurt feelings and disappointment. As a final note, I have one friend who is a twin. She never even considered having a separate birthday party. Even today, at 40+ years of age, she can’t imagine celebrating a birthday without her twin sister. It’s a reminder to me that each child is different, each family is special and each set of multiples is UNIQUE!
1. Joint or Separate Celebrations?
If your twins are old enough, talk to them about what they would prefer. If budget is a concern, let them know the party can be more elaborate if they share a party.
2. Guests: How many?
This can be hard, especially when your twins, triplets, etc. begin to grow older and make separate friends. Take a glance at the intended space for your party and the room in your budget. Set a limit on guests and then split the number of invitees for each child evenly.
3. Gifts: Do we bring a gift for each multiple?
This is a tough question. Perhaps the best solution is to leave the gift-giving to family unless you decide to throw separate parties. You can tell your guests to bring a gift to donate to a child advocacy center or they can bring a “shareable” gift, like a game or an outdoor activity. You can indicate your preference by adding text to your invitation. (Example: “No gifts, please! Just come to the party and have fun!”) Whatever you decide, it's helpful to communicate your thoughts to your guests.
4. Make Cupcakes.
This eliminates the need for two cakes all-together. It is a convenient solution and no one gets stuck cutting the cake! You can have special birthday cupcakes made for the twins, triplets, etc.
5. Sing Happy Birthday to Each Multiple
It’s a nice gesture to consider singing an individual song to each multiple. If you have quintuplets this could create a time issue, but if you have twins – they will enjoy knowing that they are being celebrated as individuals!
The bottom line is that you know your children and what would make them happy on their birthdays. Talking to them ahead of time and creating a plan can help avoid hurt feelings and disappointment. As a final note, I have one friend who is a twin. She never even considered having a separate birthday party. Even today, at 40+ years of age, she can’t imagine celebrating a birthday without her twin sister. It’s a reminder to me that each child is different, each family is special and each set of multiples is UNIQUE!
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